3am

Three AM means something in our house.

Three AM is when someone needs to wake up. 

Three AM is when we hope batteries work. 

Three AM is when a juice box needs to be handy. 

Three AM is when test strips fall where they will. 

Three AM is when the light is always to bright 

Three AM is when a 15 minute timer is needed. 

Three AM is when danger can be the highest. 

Three AM is when testing should happen. 

Three AM is when worry can happen 

Three AM means bgl must be over 100. 

Sometimes it is not. 

Sometimes mom or dad must check and recheck. 

Sometimes diabetes is hard to deal with, whether you are 15 or 40. 

 

The house is not the same

I have not posted. I have not wanted to post. My son has not wanted me to post. 

September of 2011 our lives were changed. My son is sick and will be sick for the rest of his life. Type 1 diabetes is awful. Yes, families and people can learn to manage but it can never be controlled. Weather, growth, sleep, stress and hormones all have different affect upon his blood sugars. We can not fix or control any of those things. I did not blog for so long because chick #2 did not want people to know that he had diabetes. But, diabetes is who he is. It is who we are. Counting carbs, changing ratios, ketone testing, these things affect the whole family. Right now that involves his parents and siblings. But eventually, it will affect his wife and children. My son will never be able to look at food in the same way. Eating will not give him pleasure, it will always cause stres and a question of what ifs. Leaving the house is huge. Going on vacation is such a task that it is hard to put it in words. For a mother, to see her 15 year old son so frustrated with this disease, is heart breaking. The constenst testing and counting will never end and to see that stress upon my son's face  horrible. I ask him if I could do the work and figure carbs and prepaid his shots. But his answer is "no,  I will have to do this for my whole life". Yes, that is very hard to hear. After 3 long years it is still very hard to hear.